Measure Your Success
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Let’s face it, the citizens of the world offer many a definition and opinion on what it means to be a “successful” woman, or a “successful” person in general. Tricky calculations base success on money, education, fame, etc., but what can truly measure success? The truth is, that is up to you!
Recently I was reading a study trying to measure the success of children based on whether their mother was a stay-at-home mom or a working mom. The sons of these moms didn’t show any measurable difference on their success in life and the workplace; however, the study concluded that daughters of working mothers were “more successful” because they got higher degrees, joined the workforce, and had successful careers.
I immediately had to laugh. Maybe I’m just too openminded, but I thought it was exceptionally close minded to assume success was measured by a woman’s ability to get a higher paying job in the workforce. I see this as the “new age” feminist mindset. I don’t like it.
The ACTUAL definition of success is “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” Meaning success is whatever you measure it as. It is more than likely that girls who group up with a stay-at-home mom valued that role as a woman and then considered it a success to achieve that goal in their lifetime, rather than a job in the workforce that paid well.
Truth be told, if you want to work then by all means get a job doing something you love, but don’t preach to anyone that they’re “unsuccessful” because they chose to stay home, raise their children, and support their husband and household.
This is what brought me to start Prism Perfect. I’ve watched the world tell society that success is getting a good job and making lots of money. I refuse to agree with the idea that success is that simple.
Let’s discuss some scenarios.
You can have a wonderful job, and an unhealthy lifestyle.
In fact, this happens often. Work can have a huge impact on our stress levels (as can being a stay-at-home mom) and that can play a huge role in the lifestyle we choose. Bad eating habits, or a tendency to party with our coworkers, or forgetting to exercise. There are a multitude of ways that we can ignore our physical health in a search for career-based success. When we are preached to that our only way to find success is in the workforce, this can diminish the importance of our lifestyle outside of the office.
You can have a wonderful job, and deal with stress, grief, and depression.
Stress, grief, and depression are all signs of emotional or mental sickness. Believe it or not, being emotionally unwell has a rather large impact on our physical wellness and can end up impacting our performance at work or at home. If we ignore or look over the self-care necessary to keep us out of the depths of despair then we will find that we are not successful. A cool job that pays well, but leaves us depressed at the end of the day, is not worth it.
You can have a wonderful job, and feel you haven't learned anything.
This may not go for everyone, but it is definitely a factor in my life. I taught at a dance studio for less than a year. A few months in a realized how much farther along I was in my dance education and understanding than any of the staff there, and they were very much stuck in their misguided ways. The job paid well, so I kept it for a while, but eventually quit when I became so frustrated by being held back that it no longer was worth it.
I’m the type of person to have a strong drive to learn and apply, learn and apply, and when my opportunities are cut down on I find myself frustrated, even if a large check comes every month. This is a true factor for most people, and the reason so many people get worried about working that 9-5 job for the rest of their lives.
You can have a wonderful job, and hate coming home.
This is a very sad situation, but unfortunately for a lot of people, really true. Especially if you have children and they are left to be raised by other adults all day, returning home can be frustrating when you’ve worked all day, then come home to laundry, dishes, a dirty floor, a screaming child, and a sleeping husband who can ignore all of the ruckus. (Not to say this is the norm, but it can happen.) If you are not happy at home, how can you consider yourself “successful” in any definition of the world. Home is where you should be happiest.
You can have a wonderful job, and never find love.
I’ve heard many stories, especially recently, of individuals who focus so hard on school, work, or traveling that after years they wonder where the time has gone while those around them have gotten married and started families. There are two sides to this coin, some people would never give back their single-life adventures, and others regret it for a long time for personal reasons that can include infertility, because they have waited, or being behind their friends. Some miss out on relationships they could’ve had if they had been willing to give it time and effort before.
You can have a wonderful job, and never see your family.
We all know this story. This is especially common these days where we’re all competing so much for money. We go to work, labor for an extra few hours every day to up our pay, impress our boss, or finish a project. There are so many movies written about the overworked parent, one of my favorites being “Hook.” We won’t feel successful when at the end we’ve had a successful career, but our children can’t stand us.
You know the question you’re asked as a kid, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I heard that many a time and answered the same every time. “I want to be a stay-at-home mom.” Suddenly teachers, friends, and leaders were wondering why I was planning on wasting my talents.
Simple fact of the matter: it’s a talent to be a good homemaker. It’s a talent to raise children. It’s a talent to devote your time to the wellness of your family, and that is what this blog seeks to promote.
Prism Perfect offers a collection of ideas to aid ALL women in creating happy home life and personal life whether at work or at home.
Prism Perfect offers the colors to paint the whole picture of success and not simply one section of the canvas.
Our team is made up of young women, each pursuing different dreams and each finding success in different ways, who are offering you an array of ideas an options to improve your world. And we want your opinions and experiences too!