Let me start from the beginning.. I read this book a while ago. It really opened my eyes up to love. Not like romantic love.. necessarily.. but, you know, all kinds of love. It’s called “The 5 Love Languages.”
This book is literally AMAZING. Growing up you’re always told to be kind to those around you. And regardless of how small that seems, it’s a pretty big deal. So.. what? Do we just say out loud that we love everyone and it’s done?
NO! I should hope not. That would mean life is easy, and we all know that’s not the case.
Seriously, if that was it we would all feel loved and we would all be happy. Life would be great. Roses, Daisies, Chocolate, Meadows of Four-Leaf Clover. There wouldn’t be so much divorce. There wouldn’t be so much division between parent and child. There wouldn’t be angry feelings towards friends. There wouldn’t be homeless people on the street. I mean, as a world, we would be a lot better off if it was THAT easy. So.. what is it?
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages: we are not speaking the same languages. Take me and my brother for example: YES, we both loved each other, but he was trying to tell me in Tagalog and I was trying to tell him in French. It just wasn’t catching on at all on either end.
GET READY, WRITE THIS DOWN NOW.
1. Receiving Gifts
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Acts of Service
4. Physical Touch
5. Quality Time
It’s that simple. You see, we can all respond to each of these languages, but each of us has a primary language and a secondary language and the rest don’t really make a difference. Actually, of course they make a difference, it’s just that we don’t necessarily respond to these things quite so easily.
We’ve got to fill our love tanks.
Let’s create a scenario.. my love tank is running on empty. Izaak, my gorgeous brother, gives me a bear hug (obvious form of physical touch.) My engine dies. Without a doubt, physical touch is NOT high on my list of languages. Instead, Izaak and I sit down and watch a movie together (quality time), BAM! 5 gallons added to my tank and I feel much better! In this thrill of a good attitude I rush over to Subway to buy my family dinner and pick up one of their delicious cookies for my brother Marcus, DING DING DING!!! Marcus’s love tank is full do to receiving a gift (a COOKIE!) Marcus feels so splendid that he turns to my dad and tells him his bald head is looking so wonderfully spherical and gorgeous and my dad’s face lights up with pure joy that someone noticed his new haircut! (Words of Affirmation!) In his good spirits he picks up all of our dishes and cleans them before my mom even gets a chance.. act of service? I think so. My mom is happy. My dad is happy. Marcus is happy. I am happy. I run and give Izaak a huge loving bear hug, Izaak is happy. We are a happy family. THE END.
Okay, so I may have slightly exaggerated it. But there it is. Who would’ve ever thought that gifts were not my thing? Yeah, I took the quiz and apparently gifts don’t fill up my tank. Quality time on the other hand is a huge boost to my good spirits. I feel loved.
How many times have you heard of that wife who makes dinner for her husband every night and makes sure the house is clean and tries to make him happy and it’s just not enough? Or the kid who doesn’t feel loved by his mother because she never played a game with him? It’s real. It makes sense.
So you love someone.
Love is an act.
What’re you going to DO about it?
Do you have any interesting experiences related to this?
Here’s a challenge, test out one of the love languages on a loved one this week and…